no such thing
proximity is power.
i wish i had taken advantage of that. i know the things that im passionate about and i dont have people that are just as in love with those things as i am. some of that worked out in my favor– i learned to find other things that i love and im truly grateful for that. i love exploring people and places, i care about being outside and it really matters to me that i take time to myself. the people i have in my life right now taught me what it mean to live life well– move quickly, be decisive, have fun, don’t over think it, and just do it.
i just wish we’d been a little more focussed, our heads just a little more steady. but that’s what growing up is, right? you find your stride slowly and some groups of people move faster than others.
what even am i saying right now? that i wish i had been surrounded by different people? to what end? maybe id be richer or smarter or funnier or more talented or a laundry list of other things, but i wouldnt be who i am right now. maybe id be writing about how i wish id spent more time outside, or that id focussed less on school, or spent more time with friends, or made time for other people. the irony of it is that no matter what path you go down there will always be regrets– so the trick in life is not living a life with no regrets but living a life with regrets you can live with. i would love to move to sillicon valley, bum off someones couch and just find my way to extraordinary people. that would be cool. but i cant right now, i have parents to take care of and brothers, and a life. i know that i will regret not buying that plane ticket. you know what i would reget more though? not spending time with my parents, not making the last couple decades of their life easier. decades? time isn’t a given, i just know if i didnt at least work to give them a better life the way they gave me my life i would not be able to live with myself.
i started writing this talking about how i wish i had surrounded myself with different people. but i came away realizing im happy with my decisions thus far– they werent perfect but they made me me. and so far in my life, i can live with myself.
maybe ill touch on this idea of proximity tomorrow.
11 - 03/07/2025