the real risk in life
Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate. You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount of risk to playing it safe.
- Bill Burr
I’m 22 now. And I really feel like I’ve gotten nowhere with my life. The things I imagined myself doing as a kid, I haven’t done yet. Some of it comes from my own vices and some of it comes from the mold I thought I had to fit. I did everything I was supposed to and you know what, I actually did make it. I have a 6 figure job secured that I’m already working before even graduating, I drive a Tesla, and I can afford to take care of my parents. I know the American dream has fallen short for a lot of people, but it hasn’t for me. My parents brought me here in promise of better opportunity, they worked hard for it, and here I am, 17 years after landing in America sitting in a place of privilege in the top 12% of people in the entire world. How lucky am I? Yet, I’m not as happy as I should be.
Don’t get me wrong though, I am pretty happy and extremely grateful for where I am and how I am doing. I want to make that abundantly clear. I am happy, without a doubt in my mind.
I have an incredible amount of debt. Not necessarily monetary, though. I was lucky enough to get a full ride to college and the only real debt I have is for my car (which I can pay off within the next year). I’m talking more so about the debt I owe to my parents. They gave up everything for me and my brothers, they chose willingly to come and live in America for our sake, for merely the chance my brothers and I could have a shot at a life much better than theirs.
Now here I am, in a position to start repaying the debt I owe to them. Truthfully, I wish I didn’t have that obligation to them. It’s not that they expect me to pay off their house, it’s just that I want to. Doing that has meant playing it safe, because if I did things wrong, if I played the game and lost, it could mean they lose everything too.
I wouldn’t mind spending the next 20 years couch surfing, pursuing my dream. I don’t even know what my risk would be, maybe it would be a business or YouTube or perhaps a low paying career like astrophysicist.
I’m getting older and I don’t want my life to flash by without having taken some sort of risk. Not risk for the sake of risk, but risk in the pursuit of my own ambitions.
1 - 02/25/2025